Quality You Can Taste

Don’t ask Kobe Bryant, “How does it feel to win an NBA Championship?” Because he will answer by smiling and punching you in the face.

(via:ems:aysaturen:chrisgoods)

If there’s one thing that always attracts me to a woman, it’s modesty. If there’s another thing that always attracts me to a woman, it’s basic understanding of punctuation and grammar. If there’s a third thing that always attracts me to a woman, it would be owning a PT Cruiser.

Just got back from the Reblog This Film Festival, and I have to say I was thoroughly impressed. If you’re familiar with the site, you already know there’s a ton of incredibly talented people that contribute to it. Despite knowing this, my expectations were still exceeded and I was blown away by the show.

Kudos to all involved, from the filmmakers to Tumblr for putting together a great event. And, it was really good to meet/see/mingle with everyone who came out tonight. I can officially say that I went to a Hollywood party and didn’t feel completely out of place. [This is the part where I make a stupid joke about doing cocaine]

Also, the picture above came out blurry, but it’s funny because David was standing on the stage with the word “PLAY” projected onto his crotch.

Hand did touch this slip, but hand still have much worries! Hand think cookie lies. Hand not take advices from snacks no more.

What the hell?

Putting things in perspective:

• OMG, I’m Getting Old - This is from my senior prom. Seven years ago. Tomorrow afternoon, I’ll be attending the wedding of my two friends standing behind me. They have been dating for ELEVEN years. Where the hell did the time go?
• OMG, I Need To Grow Up - I still do the same thumbs up/stupid face combo when taking pictures. In fact, I’ll probably do it several times tomorrow night at the reception. Also, I’ve known about this wedding since February and I’ve yet to buy a present. GOOD JOB, ME.

What I didn’t mention in my last post was that I caught the baseball with my right hand, which was connected to my right wrist, which I’d fractured just a couple weeks before. Granted, the fracture wasn’t that bad. But, it was bad enough that my yelling and screaming after catching the ball was half celebration, half cursing because it hurt so much.

After settling down, one of the stadium ushers asked if I was ok and asked if I wanted an ice pack. I gladly took her up on the offer and spent the rest of the game icing my wrist.

The best part is, a guy took a report after I got my ice pack. He asked for my ID and took a bunch of information, presumably for liability purposes. I was in such a daze from catching the ball that I never once questioned who he was or if he even worked for the Dodgers.

Come to think of it, I should have been more suspicious when he pocketed my driver’s license and asked me for my bank PIN…

Dodger Stadium - July 24, 2009

This picture was taken three months ago. But, a day after the Dodger’s season was ended by a merciless thrashing by the Phillies, I wanted to go over some happy baseball thoughts to wash out the bitter taste of defeat. Also, waiting nearly three months was necessary to curb my childlike enthusiasm and prevent a deluge of exclamation points.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to geek out for a moment.

OMG, I caught a ball!!! I CAUGHT A BALL AT A MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL GAME!!!!! I CAUGHT IT WITH MY HAND!!!!

*Ahem* (See why I had to hold off on posting this for so long?)

That night was the most fun I’ve ever had watching a baseball game in my life. It’s always a treat to go out to the ballpark and take in a game, especially at Dodger Stadium. But, this game helped fulfill a few childhood dreams, so it gets a special place in my memory. What were those dreams, you ask? Oh…you didn’t ask? Well, whatever. I’m gonna tell you anyway.

1. Amazing seats - Technically, my dream as a kid was to watch games in the dugout as a player. But, that didn’t work out and this was the next best thing. Section 39a, Row 1, Seat 1. I was literally sitting right next to the batboy on the 3rd base side. In fact, the batboy even shared his sunflower seeds and bubblegum.
   
   The view was so amazing that now I’m spoiled and refuse to watch a game from any other seats. In other words, with the pricetag on these tickets, this may have been my last baseball game.
2. Frolicking In The Grass - In a continuation of my dream to be a professional baseball player, I always imagined that one day I’d get to set foot on the raked dirt of an infield or the freshly cut grass of an outfield.
   
   As luck would have it, Dodger Stadium was having a fireworks night, and fans were allowed to watch from the field. The moment they opened the gates, I bolted across the field, running and giggling like an overgrown 7 year old. It wasn’t exactly my vision of making an amazing, diving play to seal a World Series title, but it was still a thrill. Plus, I ended up sitting next to a group of morbidly overweight guys dressed like Elvis, and that was hilarious.
3. I CAUGHT A BALL - Everyone who goes to a baseball game wants to catch a ball. There are no exceptions to this rule. None.
   
   The first game I ever attended was in 1993. I sat in the rightfield pavilion and had a Mike Piazza homerun ball sail over my outstretched glove by mere inches. In all the years since, I haven’t even been close to a ball that’s ended up in the stands. Until this night.
   
   Manny Ramirez was up to bat and the stadium was buzzing. Everyone was standing, anticipating a monstrous hit. First pitch, second pitch, third pitch, nothing. But on the fourth pitch, Manny took a huge swing and fouled the ball off directly into my section. To say it happened in a flash is an understatement, as the ball went from bat to stands in a split second.
   
   All I remember is a group of girls sitting across from me screaming and jumping out of the way as I foolishly jumped out of my seat and into the ball’s trajectory. The next thing I knew, I felt a white hot sting in my right hand. And when I looked down, I was holding the ball. People started giving me high fives and thumbs up. I started yelling like an idiot. I ended up on the jumbotron, pumping my fist and looking like a psychopath. I was the happiest little boy in the entire stadium.
   
   But, I think my favorite moment of the night came at the end of the game when a little boy, probably about 5 years old, walked up and we had a quick conversation. “Did you catch Manny’s ball?” Yes. Yes, I did. “Cooooool.” Totally cool. *high five*
   
   Looking back at it, the little guy may have been trying to use his cuteness to finagle a free ball from me. In which case, too bad, buddy. I’ve been waiting a long time for this. Get your own damn ball. This one is mine. MINE. ALL MINE.

Ahhhh. That helps to ease the disappointment from being eliminated. It still sucks, because I really think they could have gone all the way this year. But on the bright side, the season was fun, full of exciting finishes and exceeded expectations. Plus, I got a ball out of it.

*sigh*

Well, Dodger fans. Looks like we have to go back to the saying made famous by the Brooklyn Dodger teams of old: Wait ‘til next year.

The infamous bacon wrapped hot dog (aka “heart attack dog”).

Anywhere there’s a gathering of people in LA, inevitably these carts will be close by. After last night’s Grizzly Bear concert, the crowds poured out of the venue and were greeted by the intoxicating aroma of bacon, hot dogs, grilled onions and peppers. I’ve never been brave (or desperate. or suicidal) enough to try one, but no matter how many times I pass one of these carts I will always blurt out, “Uggghhh, that smells so good.”

For some cheap entertainment, hang out near one of these carts when a lot of people are walking by and listen to the various reactions. Last night, in a span of about ten minutes, I overheard these gems:

• That smells soooo gooooood. [Heard approximately 834 times]
• Hot dog? Haaaaa. Gaaaaaa (indecipherable orgasmic sounds).
• Ohhhh mahhh gahhhhh.
• OH SNAP BACON.
• Bacon? Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

It should be noted that about ten feet from the cart was an ambulance. I can only assume the EMTs were standing by preparing for the massive coronaries about to take place.