“We should take advantage of this and open a Bikram yoga studio in the living room.”
—
My brother, upon walking into the house to discover the indoor temperature was 94 degrees.
NINETY-FOUR DEGREES.
September 2009
47 posts
August 2009
46 posts
Snack Time Inspiration
- Tim: donuts and red wine go together
- Me: really?
- Me: that's an odd mix
- Me: common man/fancy pants
- Tim: you're right
- Tim: it's bad red wine though
- Tim: so I'm still mostly common
- Me: haha
- Me: you should put a stack of donuts around the bottle's neck
- Me: and eat it like a wine bottle donut skewer
- Me: and chug the wine between bites
- Tim: I think you've just revolutionized snacktime, my friend
Listen
The Who - My Generation
If Roger Daltrey sang this song with a more severe stutter, it probably wouldn’t have been as big a hit because he’d be completely unintelligible. However, imagining what that song would sound like and then singing along with the revised lyrics makes for a fun way to waste an hour on a Sunday afternoon.
Listen
Jimi Hendrix - Fire
Tumblr Makes Me Look Like A Crazy Idiot In Real Life
- Me: (While checking my dashboard) Oh wow, the cats beat the sharks.
- Co-worker: Cats? Sharks?
- Me: Oh.. Hi. Didn't see you standing there.
- Co-worker: Sorry. Just needed to get some papers.
- Me: No problem. Need help?
- Co-worker: I'm ok. So, what did the cats win?
- Me: Uh. They won....sports. It's sports.
- Co-worker: What sport?
- Me: Um. Football. "Cats" is a slang term for the Cincinnati Bengals.
- Co-worker: Aren't the sharks a hockey team?
- Me: Oh. So, you know about hockey...
- Co-worker: No. But I've heard about a hockey team with that name.
- Me: Well, the sharks I'm talking about are...uh...it's just...I...they...um..
- Co-worker: [perplexed look]
- Me: So, what papers did you need again?
- Co-worker: Oh, I have them. Thanks.
- Me: Ok, cool.
- Co-worker: (as she walked out the door) By the way, one of the patients peed on the bathroom floor.
Listen
Weezer - El Scorcho
goddamn you half-japanese girls, do it to me every time.
Overheard in Line For Sandwiches
- Guy 1: --the shirt was off, man.
- Guy 2: OFF off?
- Guy 1: Yes. OFF off. Nipples-out-off.
- Guy 2: Wow.
- Guy 1: Yeah.
- Guy 2: Well, it was pretty hot yesterday.
- Guy 1: True. Must've been the heat.
“I find that a great part of the information I have was acquired by looking up something and finding something else on the way.”
—Franklin P. Adams
Listen
Percy Faith - Theme From A Summer Place
The weather is damn near perfect today. Now, all I need is a hammock and a drink.
Listen
Cold War Kids - Red Wine, Success!
Listen
Buckethead - Big Sur Moon
Have you ever heard a song that sounded like the music was trying to tickle you? Because this song makes me think that.
Well, anyway, that’s the explanation I give when I laugh hysterically and pee my pants each time I hear this song.
