Today is my dad’s 50th birthday. Being the big five-oh, we couldn’t just do our regular restaurant and cake at home routine, so the decision was made to spend our evening at Lawry’s the Prime RIb. I’ve been doing a good job of watching what I eat lately, but at a restaurant like Lawry’s I had no choice but to throw caution to the wind. Equipped with a steak, mushrooms, mashed potatoes, cream corn, cream spinach and yorkshire pudding, I ate so much, so quickly that I started to hallucinate and temporarily went deaf.
Regardless, it was absolutely worth it. If you’re ever in LA and have a craving for meat, this place will undoubtedly satisfy the carnivore within. And if you use my strategy of “eat everything within arm’s length,” you’ll be treated to a free food coma.
And before the food takes over and I begin my hibernation, I have to say that our waitress was incredibly sweet and down to earth. But hilariously enough, she had a name that you’d only find on a stripper.
As the wave of posts from the past couple of hours would suggest, us Californians got to practice our earthquake drill skills. For the uninitiated, growing up in California meant monthly earthquake drills from elementary school through high school. Earthquake drills were just like fire drills, only we’d have to hide underneath our desks and inside of door frames before getting into a single-file line and walking out to a field/playground. To aid in the simulation, school administrators would sometimes get on the school’s intercom and say something ridiculous like, “Rumble rumble, shake shake,” or, “Earthquake! Earthquake!”
Oftentimes, my friends and I would help even further by screaming as if we were facing armageddon.
Today we got to put all of that training to use. To display my staggering knowledge of earthquake safety and preparedness I stood in the middle of a room, right next to two gigantic filing cabinets as I asked out loud, “What the hell? Is a giant truck coming down the street?”
When I realized that it was, in fact, an earthquake I assumed a surfer stance. As if I was going to ride the giant surfboard of California to safety. I’m sure the two girls I work with were very impressed. After a few moments of getting our wits about us, one of the girls realized she was still in the middle of a phone call. Still in shock and a little freaked out, she picked up the receiver and continued her call. And in the fastest turnaround I’ve ever seen from scared to completely cool and relaxed, she nonchalantly said, “Um, hello? Sorry about that. Oh, no, nothing. We just had an earthquake. How can I help you?”
The earthquake couldn’t knock me off my feet, but that line made me fall to the ground laughing.
I was just talking with an old friend and we realized that 10 years ago we were getting ready for our freshman year of high school. How in the hell did that happen?!
I think I accidentally just sent us both spiraling into a quarter-life crisis.
I found myself at a crossroads a moment ago while washing my hands. Halfway into rinsing the soap off of my hands, I felt a sudden and undeniable urge to pee (I think the rushing faucet water set me off).
At that moment, I began to debate between hygiene and laziness.
Would I do the right thing and wash my hands again? Or would I give in to the voice in my head whining, “But I just washed them!”
Even though I decided against being disgusting, I knew I had a reached a low point in my laziness. At this rate, my next stop is just peeing my pants and then shrugging to my reflection in the bathroom mirror.
-John C. Reilly (Jimmy Kimmel Live on 7-24-08)
I must say, even though Step Brothers looks like it’s going to be awful, Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly form one of the best comedy duos I’ve seen in a very long time.
Because of the lack of tickets and my aversion to large crowds in movie theaters, I waited until yesterday to finally see The Dark Knight. I think I overhyped it to myself because I didn’t leave the theater pulsing with adrenaline and considering a career in vigilante justice and superheroism. Don’t get me wrong, I still thought it was great. I just didn’t devolve into a babbling child afterward, like I’ve done after other superhero movies.
With that said, I definitely agreed with all the praise Heath Ledger has received for his portrayal of the Joker. He was pitch perfect within the Gotham that Christopher Nolan and company have created. But, halfway into the movie I couldn’t help but compare Ledger’s Joker to another recent villain that earned tons of rave reviews: Anton Chigurh.
And as usual, I must break it down into a very simplistic argument of “who would win in a fight?” Though, in this case, I think it’s more appropriate to ask which bad guy I’d least want to cross paths with. After much careful deliberation (I thought about it during lunch in between daydreaming about naked ladies), I have to give it to Chigurh.
Joker was a self-proclaimed “agent of chaos” that would leave mayhem and destruction in his wake, and chances are you’re dead if you’re in his way. On the other hand, Chigurh was death incarnate and would not and could not be stopped if you were his target. There was no question about it, and as the theme went in No Country For Old Men, if you saw him, you were dead.
Regardless, both were really awesome villains that operated outside the normal range of motivation and logic.
Has there ever been any research on why sandwiches taste better when cut in half diagonally?