January 2009
83 posts
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The Rat Pack - Auld Lang Syne
I know everyone is...
December 2008
70 posts
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Christmas Confusion
One of my favorite things about the holiday season is reconnecting with old friends. Birthdays and Christmas are the best times for me to call or send a message when there’s been a long gap since the last time I’ve communicated with someone. Granted, there’s really no bad time to call a friend regardless of how long it’s been, but at least the holidays take care of any...
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“Nothing is more revolting than the majority; for it consists of few vigorous...”
– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
(inspired by this post by amwelles)
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Animal Collective - My Girls
A song from the...
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“Ah ha! A cookbook!”
– My grandfather, upon seeing that my grandmother’s Christmas present was Chicken Soup for the Grandmother’s Soul
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Dean Martin - Baby It’s Cold Outside
I had...
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Ho, Ho, Ho! I Saw You Masturbating! →
I’m going to post this every holiday season for as long as I live. This is easily one of my all-time favorite articles by The Onion. The first time I read it, I chortled and then broke out into a full on guffaw.
Why, old Santa might just have a heart attack if he popped out your chimney on that cold winter’s night and, instead of milk and cookies, found his dear little pen pal...
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Bing Crosby - White Christmas
It’d be...
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“Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several...”
– Jack Handey
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Vince Guaraldi Trio - Skating
I’ve never...
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Fancy Steakhouse Conversation with the Family
Me: How's everyone's food?
Brother: Fantastic.
Mom: Excellent!
Dad: A Plus!
Aunt: Very good!
Mom: [to Aunt] What did you get again?
Aunt: The filet mignon. Here, try some. It's very tender, like the waitress said.
Mom: [after a minute] Ehhts nahh mehhwten.
Dad: What?
Mom: Ehht duhh-hent mewwt.
Me: It doesn't melt?
Mom: [nods head]
Brother: .....Mom. You're supposed to chew it.
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Nat King Cole - Chestnuts Roasting On An Open...
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Let Me Spell It Out For You
I don’t have a problem when people spell out difficult names by using the “A as in apple, B as in boy” method. In fact, sometimes it’s necessary and very much appreciated. But, when you speak so slowly that you make Ben Stein sound like a coked-up auctioneer and you have the longest name ever, let’s just cut to the chase, ok?
I came across one of these situations just a few minutes ago. And as if...
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WatchA friend saw this movie and apparently all you need to do is add hilariously bizarre racial epithets and you have an accurate remake of Gran Torino.
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I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus Last Night
Was anyone else terribly confused by this song as a kid? Every rendition of the song is joyful and merry as Christmas songs should be, but I’ve never understood what the hell is wrong with that kid that’s seeing his mom make out with Santa. The first time I really listened to the lyrics was in the second grade, and if I remember correctly my reaction was, “What?! That kid’s...
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Queen - Thank God It’s Christmas
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Mike Oldfield - In Dulce Jubilo
Apparently this...
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“The speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by...”
– (via)
Sidenote: When mothers break this sound barrier, it does not cause a sonic boom, but rather an audible sigh followed by crippling shame.
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Ways That Tumblr Has Changed My Life
What: Associations that come with the word “gratuitous”.
How: Because of Tumblr, whenever I see or hear the word gratuitous I immediately think, “picture of yourself Wednesday.” So now, the word gratuitous makes me think of a day where you can be as big of a camerawhore as you’d like and no one will judge you for it. This is a drastic change. In my pre-Tumblr days,...
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The Beach Boys - Little Saint Nick
Two weeks from...