July192008

vinh:

Freakazoid - Dance of Doom

The complete first season will be out on dvd in a couple of weeks. I think I may be the only person who found this show funny.

Not at all. I’ll be the first in line to buy this when it comes out. Freakazoid, along with Animaniacs were my favorite cartoons as a kid. In fact, my humor was largely shaped by these shows (along with classic Looney Tunes characters). The best part of these shows are that you can watch them now, from a [slightly] more mature point of view, and see new jokes that went over your head as a child.

My favorite episode had to be “Hero Boy.” From the way Freakazoid was watching TV to the retarded catch phrase, “I must succeed!” That episode in particular still makes me laugh hysterically to this day.

Excellent post, Vinh.
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July182008

Joining The Herd

I wonder how long the lines are going to be for Dark Knight. I know the movie is going to be great, but I wonder if it’s going to make me forget why I hate being in large crowds of people.

If anyone says, “Why so serious?” while we’re waiting in line, I may strangle them.

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12PM
That’s pretty much right. Though, it doesn’t really take into account the split between Northern and Southern California. If they zoomed in one California (which really is awesome), they would see “Southern California: Hollywood, movie stars, surfing, bikinis, palm trees” and “Northern California: people that live in trees, less sunshine, inexplicable usage of the word ‘hella’, computer making people, Full House.” via:karenabad

That’s pretty much right. Though, it doesn’t really take into account the split between Northern and Southern California. If they zoomed in one California (which really is awesome), they would see “Southern California: Hollywood, movie stars, surfing, bikinis, palm trees” and “Northern California: people that live in trees, less sunshine, inexplicable usage of the word ‘hella’, computer making people, Full House.”

via:karenabad
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July172008
I’ve eaten so much Mexican food in the past couple weeks that legally I have to change my name to Al Pastor. I’ve eaten so much Mexican food in the past couple weeks that legally I have to change my name to Al Pastor.
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July162008

Woman ‘tricked into sex’ by penis cream treatment

My brilliant plan has been foiled! Damn you, meddling gynecologist!

And as bad as I feel for laughing, I can’t help but laugh about the guy’s nickname: “The Penis Cream Pilot”. That sounds like a really bizarre dessert, drink or WWF finishing move.

via:onemoretimewithfeeling:

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5PM
Inanimate objects with faces are always fun. Even more so when they’re perverted. Inanimate objects with faces are always fun. Even more so when they’re perverted.
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July152008

All-Star Game

Holy crap. Is anyone else still watching this game?! This is insane. Probably the best all-star game I’ve ever seen in any sport.
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July142008

confessionizer:

I lied to you. I lied to you best friend. I lied to myself. I lied to my best friend. I lied to my new best friend. I lied to everyone. I’m still lying to everyone.

I don’t believe you.

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6AM

My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2008-7-13)

  1. The Dodos 
  2. Fleet Foxes 
  3. Frank Sinatra 
  4. Led Zeppelin 
  5. LCD Soundsystem 

Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz

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July132008
This morning at the diner I thought to myself, “You know what? I’d like to start this day off with a massive heart attack.” I told the waitress and she replied, “We have just what you’re looking for.” Somewhere underneath that avalanche of gravy is a biscuit. I couldn’t finish it (because it was approximately the size of my skull), so I asked for a box to take it to go. The waitress asked if I wanted some extra gravy to go. I guess the gravy slowed down my reaction time, because I responded by staring blankly in her general direction for about ten seconds. She took that as a yes and gave me a medium-sized styrofoam cup full of the stuff. I couldn’t tell if she was being nice and giving me the gravy hook-up, or if this was a veiled insult and she thinks I literally drink gravy.

This morning at the diner I thought to myself, “You know what? I’d like to start this day off with a massive heart attack.”

I told the waitress and she replied, “We have just what you’re looking for.”

Somewhere underneath that avalanche of gravy is a biscuit. I couldn’t finish it (because it was approximately the size of my skull), so I asked for a box to take it to go. The waitress asked if I wanted some extra gravy to go. I guess the gravy slowed down my reaction time, because I responded by staring blankly in her general direction for about ten seconds. She took that as a yes and gave me a medium-sized styrofoam cup full of the stuff. I couldn’t tell if she was being nice and giving me the gravy hook-up, or if this was a veiled insult and she thinks I literally drink gravy.
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July122008
topherchris: The Large Hadron Collider Loves to Twitter I hate to verify that my brain stopped developing in the 5th grade, but has anyone else considered the hilarious possibilities with a simple letter switch? C’mon, don’t tell me I’m the only one that chuckles to himself at the prospect of a “Large Hardon Collider.” The title alone makes me laugh, but then I think about the functionality of such a contraption. A massive complex with the purpose of accelerating opposing erections into each other at near light speed, possibly sending the planet into an alternate dimension. Please tell me I’m not the only one who thinks of these things and/or finds this funny.

topherchris:

The Large Hadron Collider Loves to Twitter

I hate to verify that my brain stopped developing in the 5th grade, but has anyone else considered the hilarious possibilities with a simple letter switch? C’mon, don’t tell me I’m the only one that chuckles to himself at the prospect of a “Large Hardon Collider.”

The title alone makes me laugh, but then I think about the functionality of such a contraption. A massive complex with the purpose of accelerating opposing erections into each other at near light speed, possibly sending the planet into an alternate dimension.

Please tell me I’m not the only one who thinks of these things and/or finds this funny.
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11PM

Wall-E

I’m a few weeks behind everyone else, but I just got back from seeing Wall-E. A few thoughts:

  • I was well aware of the universal praise the movie received, and have read countless reviews that showered it with every superlative possible, but I still blown away by how good it was.
  • Again, I knew beforehand that the first half hour or so had no dialogue whatsoever, yet it was still able to draw the audience in and convey emotions successfully. Despite knowing this, I was still shocked at how incredibly touching, funny and beautiful the movie was.
  • Wall-E and Eve are one of the (if not the) best on screen couples I’ve ever seen. I was more moved by these two robots than every romantic comedy couple ever, combined.
  • Jeff Garlin was absolutely perfect as the voice of Captain McCrea. On a sidenote, if you ever see Jeff Garlin listed as the guest on a talkshow, I highly suggest watching as he is hilarious.
  • Visually, Wall-E is one of the most mind-blowing things I’ve ever seen.
  • If I had two pets (or two of anything, really) that needed naming, I wouldn’t be able to resist naming them Wally and Eve.
  • Pixar can do no wrong.

A few more, unrelated thoughts from tonight:
  • Presto was hilarious. And after seeing it along with the bunny letter opener, I want nothing more than a pet rabbit. Well, other than a pet Wall-E. I’m such a dorky child.
  • As great as Pixar’s movies are, the movies that are previewed before their movies are the polar opposite. Some (i.e., me) would argue that these other movies are pure evil.
  • The preview for that retarded chihuahua movie stood out in how much it disgusted me. After watching it, I actually had a bad taste in my mouth and was overcome with an urge to leave the theater, round up a group of chihuahuas and proceed to beat them to death with a pool cue.
  • Was it just me, or was anyone else put off by the preview for that “daring mouse” movie? I was under the impression that the mouse was supposed to be a child, or at the oldest a teenager. So, why did he have the voice of a grown man? It was like seeing a 3rd grader that had the voice of James Earl Jones, only not as entertaining.
  • I always thought I felt otherwise, but it turns out I hate children. Well, at least those that sit next to me during a movie without their parent’s supervision. Hey, kid. I’m watching a movie here, ok? Shut the hell up.
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4PM

You know what’s awesome?

When you don’t realize that your undershirt is much bigger than your shirt, and you end up going through the day looking like you need your mom to help pick out your clothes in the morning.

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July112008
My all-time sports hero.
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9PM
When you swing a baseball bat multiple times in a short time span without tape or batting gloves, the skin on your fingers will rip off. I knew this, yet I went ahead and tore up my hand anyway. This was just about a month ago, and I can still see where that nasty blister was. Good job, me!

When you swing a baseball bat multiple times in a short time span without tape or batting gloves, the skin on your fingers will rip off. I knew this, yet I went ahead and tore up my hand anyway. This was just about a month ago, and I can still see where that nasty blister was.

Good job, me!
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